Tuesday, March 4, 2008

A Step Foward....

Even though it doesn't sound like it, I may have taken a step forward yesterday in my attempt to become a former smoker. I actually bought a pack of cigarettes...up until this time I have been "borrowing" my husband's when I had a craving. I know, that doesn't sound like a step forward, it sounds like a step backward...but bear with me here. I get home, do my normal routine (change clothes, get on the treadmill for a bit, etc), and decide to have a glass of wine. I sit down on the couch, open my purse, pull out a cigarette and light it....and out of the corner of my eye watch my husband's reaction. All he could say was...you probably bought those because of me, didn't you. I told him no, I bought them because I wanted a good cigarette. Then he said the magic words....but you wouldn't have if I would be a little more considerate and not smoke in the house, right? BINGO! That sure would go a long, long way in this effort if I didn't have to smell smoke every frickin' moment of the day when I'm home.

So...yes, it was a step backward to buy a pack of cigarettes after 7 months; actually it felt really weird. But, yes, it was a step forward because he has promised to make an effort to not smoke around me and try to leave his cigarettes outside. Yeah, I know, sounds good now and ultimately, I am the one who has to be the strong one. I'm getting there....only smoked 2 yesterday.

Its a process that I'm willing to work through. I still have some Chantix, I just don't like what it does to me and my thyroid meds are still out of whack, which reminds me to call the doc and see when I need to have my blood drained for his pleasure.


MamaFlo said...

I'm sorry after 7 months that you felt such a strong urge for a cigarette.
What did you do with the rest of the pack you bought?

I'm just 2.8 days away from my 6 month mark, please don't tell me that the urge is going to reignite.

I hope this was a momentary weakness and that you'll get back on the wagon and stay quit.

Karen said...

I'm hoping I can too, that's my goal. I was only on Chantix for 6 weeks, my urge came back about 8 weeks later. But I think it was only because I had to smell it all the time at home. I fought off for awhile though!