I'm B-a-a-a-ck...again!

And smoke-free...again....for good. Its been a struggle but I do have good intentions and strong desires again. We did get to the Eagles concert in September..totally awesome. We stayed in Hammond but still had to deal with Chicago traffic to get to the United Center...OMG! Those people are just crazy. There is no way I could drive those highways on a regular basis; it would kill me. We also found the best little roadhouse diner on the way home...Pumps on 12 near Michigan City. Great food! Visited a couple casinos (3 actually) but unfortunately didn't come away a winner this time. It was good to get away for a couple days.

There's more to catch up on...unfortunately, work is getting in the way. Now that I'm off cigarettes again, I definitely can use the time to keep this updated...so stand by



Awesome, just awesome!!

August Already?

Geez, summer's almost over. Once again, my plans of writing on this blog have gone by the wayside..as has the anti-smoking campaign. A friend of mine told me that while what I was trying to do was admiral, I was also trying to do too much at one time...again. I guess I just can't function to my fullest if I don't have a completely full plate. But, she did make sense so I just stopped trying to quit for now. Between working full time, being a busia to 2 of the most beautiful grandkids ever, trying to be a mom to 2 of the greatest children, renovating a house, trying to sell the other house, dealing with the fact that my dog of 13 years is probably not going to be around very much longer....and trying to quit smoking? To some people, that may not sound like an extraordinary lot in life, it may sound like just an excuse, and maybe it is...but to me its just a tad bit right now and its my excuse. Don't like it....TFB.

Renovating on the house is going....slow as always but going. Someday I'll get around to posting pictures of before/after. The last wall is ready to come down, hopefully this weekend. The long awaited renovation of the kitchen is about to begin. But, until the other house sells, its going to be a slow process, unless of course, I hit the slots again. That little windfall helped a lot and financed a couple beams, mud for the walls, trim...and even paid for Eagles tickets, which I am really excited about.

I Need a Vacation....

I just hate it when guys think they are so-o-o-o-o cool and know everything! I'm sitting here listening to 2 male co-workers discuss a project that I have had my hand in for years....and they know that, but now they finally discovered something that's been common knowledge. Not to mention the fact that I, and others, have mentioned to them. They're acting like they just discovered America and wonder why this hasn't been brought out before now....just so they can pat themselves on the back or scratch their crotches, or whatever.

Then the boss comes out and calls them his 'Jedi Knights'.....I'm getting sick to my stomach. And yet....if you ask either one of these guys a question, they will get a frickin' blank look on their face, re-ask you the question, get a pained, constipated look on their face, confirm they don't have the slightest idea on the answer, and then go ask the boss. He will think they are brilliant for asking the queston, and call them his 'Jedi Knights' yet again!

ACK!

Fabulous News....

The robins are back...the robins are back! That has to mean that the gray, cold, snowy, miserable, good-for-nothing days of winter are about to be over with, except for the snow storm that's supposed to arrive late tonight with what they are calling 'measurable accumulation'. WTH? I've had enough. I don't want and I don't need another 6-8" of that crap!

But, my birthday was great, so what if I'm another year older...I've earned every wrinkle and gray hair! I left a few hours early from work so we went to Macaroni Grill for dinner (yumm, one of my ultimate all-time favorites) and then did some gambling. Came back with $1100....heck of a lot more than we left with! All in all, it was a good day. And I felt my Mom smiling down on me as I was sitting in front of that slot machine...thanks Mom!

A Step Foward....

Even though it doesn't sound like it, I may have taken a step forward yesterday in my attempt to become a former smoker. I actually bought a pack of cigarettes...up until this time I have been "borrowing" my husband's when I had a craving. I know, that doesn't sound like a step forward, it sounds like a step backward...but bear with me here. I get home, do my normal routine (change clothes, get on the treadmill for a bit, etc), and decide to have a glass of wine. I sit down on the couch, open my purse, pull out a cigarette and light it....and out of the corner of my eye watch my husband's reaction. All he could say was...you probably bought those because of me, didn't you. I told him no, I bought them because I wanted a good cigarette. Then he said the magic words....but you wouldn't have if I would be a little more considerate and not smoke in the house, right? BINGO! That sure would go a long, long way in this effort if I didn't have to smell smoke every frickin' moment of the day when I'm home.

So...yes, it was a step backward to buy a pack of cigarettes after 7 months; actually it felt really weird. But, yes, it was a step forward because he has promised to make an effort to not smoke around me and try to leave his cigarettes outside. Yeah, I know, sounds good now and ultimately, I am the one who has to be the strong one. I'm getting there....only smoked 2 yesterday.

Its a process that I'm willing to work through. I still have some Chantix, I just don't like what it does to me and my thyroid meds are still out of whack, which reminds me to call the doc and see when I need to have my blood drained for his pleasure.

Its Monday!

And I'm back at work! Yippee! Ok, don't want that to sound too excited but I am happy to be back at work. Love my grandkids, so glad I could take the time off work to help, wouldn't have changed a thing....but still, when that door closed on Saturday night, I was doing a happy dance. Then we went out to dinner and on Sunday, we went gambling. I feel much better!

Ok, so I haven't made any strides on the cigarette front yet, but I also haven't bought any nor am I smoking any more...just not any less. I need to get my head wrapped around it again and make the decision...its not going to work if I don't really want to quit.

I sure wish the weather would get warm...it was so much easier to quit in August when it was warm and I was outside working in the gardens. I have plenty to keep me busy inside, but the husband is smoking inside also....at least outside, I can get away from the smell.

Try. Try. Again

We're gonna do this the hard way this time I feel. So, I've been off work for a week taking care of the little granddaughter who just had surgery, I've been sick with an ear infection for a couple weeks, work sucks...hmm, can I find any more excuses for continuing to smoke a couple cigarettes every day? Oh, right, yeah, that's the other excuse, MY HUSBAND! I know he doesn't want to quit, I'm not making him, but when I say 'yes, it would help a lot if you wouldn't smoke in the house'...well, I guess I expect him to make the effort. Sure, its cold and snowy outside and we don't have a heated garage...BFD.

Ok, now I have my rant out. Having a 3 year old for a week is a challenge in itself but one that just had a T&A and ear tubes is a whole different story. My kids never had this...we had other things but not this. She don't want to eat, she don't want to take her medicine, she wants to whine and watch a Bug's Life 15 times!! No problem, Busia can do anything! She is getting a little better and has started eating her 3 P's....pudding, pasta and peanut butter. I wouldn't have thought peanut butter would be good, but hey, if she's gonna eat it, I'll give it to her. Two more days and then mom can take over.

The ear infection has been one from hell and although I've never had a perforated ear drum, I sure do think I had one from this. Either that or the horrible pain and drainage was just normal for this type of infection...don't know, again, never had one before now. Still can't hear very well but it appears to be getting better.

So, have I quit? No...but like I said, I'm not giving up. I'm going to continue this battle, I'll beat it again. I can do it...need to figure out a way to keep the cigarettes out of the house...not the husband, just his cigarettes! : )

The First Test....

No problems at work..its smoke free so its a no brainer. The real test will be tonite. I'm hitting the treadmill after work first though and then its on to house #2 to finish the bathroom vanity. Hopefully, I will be so busy I won't be thinking about cigarettes and can stay in a separate room from my husband.... : )

Off to a baby shower...I hate it when they do these things at the end of the work day. During lunch would have made more sense...but then, they didn't ask us planners!

My Last Smoke...

Yep, I've been holding off for a bit. I want to enjoy one more before tomorrow. I'm actually kinda looking forward to it. I see my doctor this week too so I can get my knees and my blood work. Don't know what's going on with the knees...age probably. I think maybe it was the running I had started to do on the treadmill. Walking is OK but since I've never been a runner, I guess starting it at this stage wasn't a real good idea. Whatever...now I know.

Stand by...I'll be back tomorrow I'm sure for an update. I can do this, I will do this. I even reminded my husband that tomorrow is the day and he promises to keep them out of my view.

I'm gonna do this...

Finally Friday...

What a week...glad its coming to a close. Ok, when I was on Chantix before, I only took it for 6 weeks so I have a couple weeks left on one pack, and I just stopped at the pharmacy and they are giving me my last month....free, just like the others. I thought maybe I would have to pay for it since my company discontinued the offer at the end of 2007. So, at least I'm not going to have to pay anything out of pocket for the meds...that's good.

I have a real good buddy at work...J....and her husband has been using Chantix too. He's about 4 weeks ahead of me and he too has had a slip. We've both picked Monday as our quit date and we've both started taking it again. He's got a lot more at risk as he has the beginnings of emphysema...so J really wants him to quit for good. J has a hard time understanding the addiction since she's never smoked.

Saw the grandbabies last night. We're keeping them overnight tonight and all day tomorrow. Its going to be so cold around here that we're just going to hunker down and build a fire to stay warm. My husband will just have to freeze his butt off if he wants to smoke!

I had 3 yesterday....down 1 from the day before. Its a process, what can I say. We all have to do it the best way that works for us. I'm hoping to cut another one out today. My knees are doing better so I'm getting back on the treadmill today. I miss the exercise and know that's part of my slip.

I'm Going to Do it This Time!

My first post, my first promise. After 122 days smoke-free, I started up. The month of December got to me with the holidays and stress, and I reached for one of my husband's cigarettes. It hasn't stopped. I told myself for a while that since I hadn't bought any I was OK and then I told myself that since I only smoked 1-2 a day I was OK...but its getting worse. Still haven't bought any but I had 4 last night.

So, today is a brand new day. I still have enough Chantix for a month so I began again. I know I'll have some of the side effects from the drug again, but I want to be done with cigarettes for good regardless whether my husband quits or not.